Acceptance is an attitude--a way of thinking or feeling. It is the way that you look at yourself and the world around you. Acceptance means seeing and acknowledging what is--does not mean that you like it or that you are giving up. The attitude of acceptance means to be willing and open to acknowledge what is ... without analysis or judgment. Acceptance usually is implied in a situation, which you find uncomfortable, disliked, or unchangeable and your first reaction is to "fix-it". Acceptance is contrasted with resistance. Trying to fix-it or get rid of your uncomfortable space or pain only intensifies it and entangles you further into it. "Acceptance is simply paying attention to the way things are and taking appropriate action" (Markway).

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One must have the adventurous daring to accept oneself as a bundle of possibilities. (Richard Willard Armour)

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Practicing Acceptance

Acceptance is a critical component needed for the learning process. By practicing acceptance you create the possibility of growth and mastery. It is important to "accept" yourself and your life experiences before you can make changes or develop your life as you would like it to be.

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To practice acceptance is to create room for growth, is to embrace the possibility of change, is to allow new knowledge to contribute to a strengthening process of self-awareness and self-identity. (Martin Challis)

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"Acceptance doesn't come quickly or easily. It's a process, much in the same way in which grieving someone's death is a process. Only after you go through the shock, the denial, the anger, and the despair can you move forward with a spirit of patience and trust" (Markway). Practicing the art of acceptance teaches you to seek answers while at the same time tolerating uncertainty ... you cannot change or control any of your life experiences. All you can do is to take charge, as best or effectively as you can, of your reactions to your life experiences.

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Practicing acceptance is a four step process:

1. Recognize the non-affirming thoughts that are negative and self-critical--these are messages that stay with you, wear you down, and erode your self-esteem.
2. Apologize to yourself. Do you speak this disrespectful to others? Explain to yourself that you are learning about how damaging your self-talk may be and that you are working on being kinder and more understanding.
3. Question the validity of the thought. What is the evidence that it is true? Who says it is true? What gives this person the right to decide it is true? So what if it is true? Does it matter?
4. Replace the non-affirming thought with an affirmation. For example, "I accept myself as I am today!"

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References:
Learn the Art of Acceptance by Barbara G Markway and Gregory P Markway at www.markway.com/acceptance/practice.htm
Life in Acting-Acting in Life by Martin Challis at www.scene4.com/martinchallis/

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