The Tie That Binds and Heals:
Families' Life Experiences with Mental Illness

 

Most Devastating to Families

• Ambiguous Loss defined as the lack of clarify which causes confusion and stress, and is often tormenting (Boss, 1999)

• Disenfranchised Grief defined as he experience of grieving that cannot be openly acknowledged, publicly mourned, or socially supported, due to the stigma that often accompanies mental illness (Doka, 1989)

• Parents loss of their own dreams and expectations for their child

• Siblings experience a loss of who their brother/sister had been

• Spouses dreams and expectations of their marriage is shattered

• Offspring's loss of a relationship with their parent diagnosed with mental illness
  
  

Subjective Burdens ~ Emotional Distress

• Sadness: grief, loss, depression, helplessness and hopelessness was parents primary response

• Anger: frustration; not knowing what to do, where to go, or how to help was siblings, spouses, and offspring primary response

• Parents found themselves overwhelmed with caring for an adult son/daughter

  • Question their own parenting skills

  • Greatest fear is what will happen to their child if they are no longer available

• Siblings reported feeling trapped, bitter, and resented the loss of parents time

  • Presumed the role of caregiving for their parents

  • Greatest fear were concerns of their own mental health

• Spouses identified their anger as "excruciating" (BM)

  • Emotional abuse was suggested by several spouses

  • Greatest fear relates to the loss of their marital relationship

• Offspring identified their anger as unmanageable and chaotic, which appears to reflect the environment in which they grew up

• Self focus to get their needs met

• Greatest fear were concerns of their own mental health

Objective Burden ~ Daily Challenges ... Symptoms of mental illness and loss of family

• Parents ... changes in their physical environment

• Spouses ... loss of their marital relationship

• Siblings and Offspring ... changes in family dynamics

• Parents take on the caregiving role of their adult children out of responsibility or guilt

  • Actively involved in their child's treatment

  • Loss of personal time, career and retirement plans

• Siblings struggle with communication and how to motivate their brother/sister

  • Future caregiving responsibility

  • Own mental health concerns

• Spouses are frustrated with being their husband/wife's caregiver

  • Emotional abuse

  • Communication concerns

• Offspring found themselves having to "grow up" sooner than normal due to caregiving responsibilities

  • Issues of feeling safe and secure

  • Continued caregiving responsibilities as their parent ages

Coping: A Process of Adaptation ... Humbling experience for parents and lessons of compassion, empathy, and acceptance for siblings, spouses, and offspring

• Parents -- values and belief system, education, connection to others

• Siblings -- connection with others, values and belief system, family

• Spouses -- values and belief system, family, education

• Offspring -- self care, family, connecting with others